We have exceeded 3,000 followers in such a short time that I felt compelled to thank all of you profusely! I never expected this calling to be magnified so rapidly. I didn’t quite know what I was doing other than following the promptings of God. I told myself that I would always pray about who to help, where to go, who to reach out to, and literally every decision I took to Him.

I know I have many secular focused followers and please do not feel left out. I fully respect the validation science offers the Pro-Life cause. I believe that faith and science go perfectly together, hand in hand, and for those who utilize them properly, they can do great things with either. I appreciate and value all of you no matter where you stand. I will continue to utilize science based arguments while still thanking my Father in Heaven for the many miracles I get to witness in this work. Every woman or teenage girl I get to help, each child in the womb saved, and every post-abortive mother who needs to find peace after trauma, I am grateful.

I’ve been in the hospital and for the first time in a long time(a long time for me is a few months I was in another ER in April) I have a wonderful emergency room doctor. He actually had our son Gideon a long time ago when he was much more fragile. He diagnosed me with two more injuries from my fall. He added cervical nerve root disorder and a thoracic plexus injury. This morning as I got ready for church brushing my hair, it suddenly hurt my arm really badly. We still went to church and I was so miserable the entire time that we left right after the first hour. I couldn’t get it to lessen no matter what I did. I tried my pain medicine, my muscle relaxer, natural remedies, lidocaine patch, and I finally was in tears with no relief.

When did you know that you were Pro-Life and actually had a testimony of it? I don’t mean just those who were raised to believe it, but the literal moment you realized it. The moment you felt it deep inside that life was worth fighting for!

For me, it was when my rapist showed up after learning of the pregnancy. He initially told police I was lying and there was no sexual encounter. He said someone else must have left me in the critical state I was in. He had a friend who gave him an alibi. I often wondered what he could’ve had on him that he would’ve been willing to lie.

Have I ever told you about the time I was in foster care?

I was age 3 years old when my mom surrendered myself and my sister, about 9 months old at the time, to the state of Florida.

My mom conceived me at 17 years old when she was on the run. She ran away from a juvenile detention center somewhere near Atlanta, Georgia. It’s the place she met my biological father as well and he was also 17.

My mother’s upbringing, based on what she told me as a child, reminded me greatly of the book, A Child Called It. She was one of 7 children taken by the state of Georgia from her mother, and the 1 they returned to her care, died at 12 years old soon after being reunited with his mother.

She’s just a girl

A normal girl like any other

But still not quite like her brothers

Because of the way she was conceived

Many people have believed

That she deserved to die

They fell for this big lie

The lie that she has no worth

That there never should’ve been a birth

She is a product of rape

And she was lucky to escape

Escape the death sentence we call abortion

Because “they’re only a small portion”

All in the name of choice

We’ve taken away their voice

They can’t scream

Who’s on their team?

It would seem no one cares

If one more person tries to bring up the 11 year old who’s pregnant and use her and her child for their abortion supporting agenda I will lose my mind!

I’m grateful I didn’t conceive in rape at 12 years old when a friend’s much older brother forcibly took my virginity. What I needed then, counseling, support, love, reassurance it wasn’t my fault, my mother to call the police, and anything other than what actually happened.

Rape culture is real, especially in low income communities. Many of my friends have been raped once or many times. Sadly, many didn’t even know it because it was so normal. Normal for guys to intentionally get a girl drunk beyond comprehension and take advantage of them while sleeping or unaware. Normal to push past simple kissing when the girl says, “no more”, and then count it as a notch on their belt while telling others she was easy. It was very normal for boys at my high school and middle school to distract from their habitual rapist ways by immediately spreading the rumor that is was consensual leaving the girl to feel like no one will listen.

Sleep well little ones. As I tucked you all in to bed tonight, I began to wonder what the world will look like for you as an adult. I’m concerned that it will still be a place where there is no legal protection for babies like you, but even worse, that there won’t be as many moms like me who will choose life for their children.

Our home state of Oregon is a state which allows children to be killed before they are born, at any time up until birth for any reason. Many other states want to have the same kind of laws which allow this. What a scary place our whole country be if this happens, because when a state or a judge says it’s okay to kill your unborn baby, many moms think there’s nothing wrong with it.

After I conceived my first child in rape, I met my now husband Jeremy who was and is amazing in so many ways. From the beginning, he was just filled with a bright light that I simply could not stay away from. We met through our church when I was announcing for the Oregon Special Olympics and he was managing a group home for special needs teens and adolescents with fetal alcohol disorders who were participating in the competition. I already had a three year old child, I was a bit broken and felt like I was “damaged goods,” but Jeremy engaged so beautifully with my daughter, patiently never let me go and loved me despite my insecurities. He stayed with me, loved me, and helped me to heal.

I don’t have it all together. Often I am asked how I have it all together. What still gets under my skin are comments such as, “Wow! You are so strong!” Or, “Your life is so perfect now!” These statements still get to me. If only we could all see behind the layers of another person. I wish there was an easier way to share what I feel; perhaps a simple shoulder touch that instantly gives a flash of my memories and feelings? The world would be so much better if we knew the pain and suffering of others so easily. We could empathize far more than we ever thought capable. Instead, I am writing this here and now, allowing the deeply pushed down emotions to come to the surface.