I’ve been in the hospital and for the first time in a long time(a long time for me is a few months I was in another ER in April) I have a wonderful emergency room doctor. He actually had our son Gideon a long time ago when he was much more fragile. He diagnosed me with two more injuries from my fall. He added cervical nerve root disorder and a thoracic plexus injury. This morning as I got ready for church brushing my hair, it suddenly hurt my arm really badly. We still went to church and I was so miserable the entire time that we left right after the first hour. I couldn’t get it to lessen no matter what I did. I tried my pain medicine, my muscle relaxer, natural remedies, lidocaine patch, and I finally was in tears with no relief.
Jeremy took me to the ER after my primary advised me to do so and if you know me well you know that I loathe the ER. Our hospital is pretty limited and many of the policies cause issues in the level of care I can receive. Today, was the first positive ER experience in a very long time. Having doctors who listen is critical in patient care. Having a nurse who is still passionate is pertinent as well. The doctor of course said what I’ve heard many times, that I need many surgeries, starting with my thyroid mass, and OHSU in Portland is the only place in the state that has the facilities to do so.
I’ve been in constant pain for about 18 months now. I get teary eyed when I think about how long it has been. Falling on the ice last year has been a blessing in some ways and a curse in other ways. Most of my friends know that I try to focus more on the positive things in life. You will rarely see me express what’s wrong in my life because I try to focus on the good things God is doing. I have a firm belief that all trials are blessings in some way and you just have to find those hidden blessings. I’ve been blessed to know I have a great husband, a wonderful mother in law, and four amazing kids. They all support and uplift me when my physical limitations become too great.
I know the spine specialist said I will likely never get better and currently there is no safe treatment options left. I know he said there’s a strong possibility I won’t be able to walk one day. However, had this incident not occurred I wouldn’t have been met the many wonderful pregnant women/teen girls as I have. I was already involved in the Pro-Life movement but it was more like a once in a while thing. Whereas now it’s an every day all day passion.
I spent all of last summer bed ridden and when I began to feel blue I said,”NO MORE HEATHER! GOD ALWAYS HAS A PLAN AND HE HAS PROVEN HIS LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS THUS FAR!!! LOOK AT THESE FOUR AMAZING CHILDREN WHO ARE HERE!” I had nothing but my phone at my fingertips(well voice to text also) and I went full force helping women choose life but not just choosing life, empowering them with resources to do so with confidence. This weekend was no different. I planned a funeral/cremation/memorial for one mom, a baby shower for another, started planning my #40DaysforLife campaign, helped a mom cancel her abortion and schedule an ultrasound instead, counseled a rape victim, raised funds for a PRC and DV shelter, along with a few more things.
This is my life now. I know I’ve lost much of my family and many friends doing this work. I know some people believe I am anti-choice or a forced birther. I acknowledge that some people see me being pro-life must be a lack of understanding on how the real world works. Some people think we have a perfect life and that I just don’t get what it’s like to be in a desperate situation. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do understand desperation, poverty, abuse, pain, and trials that seem hopeless. I have lived in a world without my Savior and I will never go back to that world. I was prochoice until I conceived my first child in rape. Then I had two more urged to be aborted making three in a row! Even with all of the medical issues I have, I feel utter joy to have faith in Him!
So, thank you to Dr. B who has been taking great care of me today. Thank you for helping get through this so that I could get refocused on my calling, my mission, a life saving mission for women and their children. Thank you so much for getting my pain under control for now so that I could complete the last few funeral arrangements for the mother who lost her twins in the womb. So, that I could check in one more time with the girl who was violently abused. So that I was able to raise another few hundred dollars for these charities. You made it possible for me to jot a few more notes for our time of prayer with 40 days in my city. Thank you for being a good doctor and not getting jaded. I appreciate your time, your love, compassion, empathy, and the time you gave to educate me.
I can’t wait to get this huge thyroid mass removed and to find a way to fix my injuries or at least minimize the impact they have on our lives. But, at least now I feel like if it ever gets too great, I can go to the ER with confidence that there is still a doctor that cares. I will continue to fight in this battle for life until I can do no more which knowing me won’t be until I’m dead. I’ve always been a stubborn one. Speaking out for life, for women, for survivors of violence is what my family does now. It’s a part of us and our lives. There is no turning back now. Once you have seen the great many people who’ve been blessed by choosing life you just can’t be quiet anymore. It’s not just my story now, it’s our story. The Hobbs Family’s story.
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