Have I ever told you about the time I was in foster care?
I was age 3 years old when my mom surrendered myself and my sister, about 9 months old at the time, to the state of Florida.
My mom conceived me at 17 years old when she was on the run. She ran away from a juvenile detention center somewhere near Atlanta, Georgia. It’s the place she met my biological father as well and he was also 17.
My mother’s upbringing, based on what she told me as a child, reminded me greatly of the book, A Child Called It. She was one of 7 children taken by the state of Georgia from her mother, and the 1 they returned to her care, died at 12 years old soon after being reunited with his mother.
The year my mom gave us up was I believe in 1991. She told us that she was running a few minutes late to pick us up from childcare when the state took us against her will. My grandmother and aunt told me the truth as an adult. She gave us up.
That year, my mother had a mental break down. It was the year she had become homeless again, her father died and they were on bad terms when he passed, her brother(the 12 year old) also died, and she felt overwhelmed with motherhood after getting away from a relationship with my biological father. They were both extremely physical with each other, both were unfaithful, and she was going through a lot.
She told no one about surrendering us. My paternal grandmother grew worried after not hearing from her for weeks. They couldn’t find her either she was no longer at her residence. The daycare hadn’t seen us. After two weeks of searching she and my aunt found us in foster care. My grandma was able to get custody of us by fostering.
I’m so grateful to her for stepping up. I wish she knew how much she meant to me. My grandma was later kept from us when my mother got us back but that’s a different story for another day.
My back story led you to this; I’m proud of my mother. We don’t have a relationship but I am grateful she saw her limits and gave us up. That was one of the few truly selfless times in her life where she did the right thing in that moment.
I learned just this year that she was unable to find an abortion provider while pregnant with me because she was a minor, had no money, and honestly I see that God protected me to get me here now fighting for life.
She gave birth to me and when she was suicidal, homeless, and at her lowest point she gave us to the state where we were kept safe and secure. Then, my grandma stepped up and took care of a baby and toddler, while working, plus helping my aunt and cousins who were also around my age.
Foster care is never ideal, but it’s better than death. My childhood wasn’t easy, it wasn’t perfect, but I’m grateful to be alive. I’m grateful rather than harming us she surrendered us. I am blessed that my grandmother was willing take care of us.
Many years later, after a lot healing, my husband and I did foster care. When we did it, it was the most rewarding experience for our family. To watch the children go from fearful, anxious, and traumatized to thriving, happy, resilient children was phenomenal.
Abortion is NEVER better than foster care. Foster care is a reunification program for those parents who need time to get their lives together. Parents like my mom, who had an awful upbringing, who was a foster child herself, and then had a child before she herself was a legal adult.
Many foster parents spend more on the foster children than they’re given through the state solely because they love what they do. They love seeing that beautiful change in the child. They want to invest in that child’s future. Going from broken to flourishing is the goal of most foster parents. For me, it was being that someone I wanted in my life as a child.
Had I had the opportunity, I would’ve adopted every single one of our foster children, but that was never the goal. The goal is reunification. Most foster children are NOT available for adoption. My grandma wasn’t able to adopt me.
I often wondered “what if” growing up. I know many foster kids wonder the same thing. What if that one family could have adopted me. Would I have had more opportunities in life? Would I have been happier? Would I have been more loved?
I no longer wonder about what if. I see my life as a grand journey to where I am now. I am happy and blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. My trials, my life, it was all to help me grow into who I am now. Many of the greatest people were foster children at one point in their lives. People like ; Steve Jobs, Faith Hill, Babe Ruth, Sylvester Stallone, Sarah McLachlan, Nelson Mandela, Michael Oher, and I could go on for a long time bit you get the point.
Death is never better than foster care. Abortion is not a merciful alternative. No one is better off dead. I know I will get a lot more hate messages with this post from abortion supporters. It seems to be the norm when I share something as personal as this with my followers but I don’t care. You can say I’m advocating for child abuse, or torture, or any other nonsense you want. Those who get to live get to overcome adversity and become GREAT. They get to change the world with their experiences. They often have empathy and compassion beyond comprehension!
Life is the only correct choice. Humanity supersedes choice!
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